I was thinking last night, how silly and childish are we...Caught up continuously in our fleshy ways. Whether we keep ourselves preoccupied by busily attempting to please everyone around us, or whether we try, futile as it is, to maintain our man-made position on top of some hierachy we've built. Aren't we vain as we consider only ourselves before others; whether in timidity or by intimidation? Either way, it's still pride...
It's a sad thing that we are pre-occupied with our self-inflicted pomp, protocol, and complexities, forgetting what should be the focal point of our affection. (And in case you've not noticed, the protocol of the world is not the same as the protocol of the presence of the Holy One.) All the things that we have set up to keep "order" negates the need for the Holy Spirit in our midst. In so many ways, we have reinstated our own "Mosaic" Law. And in doing so, we find ourselves like those in the Old Testament who were under that law. Absolutely and completely incapable of keeping it, proving our own faults, sins and weaknesses at every turn. So much attention must be paid in trying to reach the bar that others have set up, that focusing on God is all but forgotten.
It reminds me of when I was teaching middle school. There were those students who were intelligent, but had "learning differences." They were what we call "kinetic." There were movers! They couldn't sit still for anyone or anything! Have you ever known a kid like that, or was it you? In one classroom, I had one student who tapped incessantly on his desk, (and had rather good rhythm, I must say!) Another always had his shoes off and would twirl them with his feet under the desk. And one doodled constantly all over his notes and books. Classrooms don't often make allowances for kinetic kids. They get in trouble for what is seen as goofing off or distracting the class.
But I found out something. If any of these students were made to stop moving, they had to spend so much energy and focus on keeping still, they couldn't focus on what was happening in class. Their grades would fall, and inevitably, they would hate school--hate learning.
But if they were permitted to move, doodle, etc., or at least, given an alternative if their habit could distract the class, you could ask them what was going on in the class, and it may have LOOKED like they weren't paying attention, but they would answer appropriately.
All that to say that when men set the bar so high that others cannot reach it, the focus turns from God and His direction to the bar itself, and those who were led to move in a particular direction are told to stop moving that way, and move THIS way instead. Good intentioned leaders can de-motivate those whose hearts are to work out the plan and purpose and gifts that God gave them. Focus is lost, direction-lost. Dreams and visions are muted and potentially buried.
Wow. All this began tonight when I was driving and looked up to see the clear night sky filled with stars. The moon hung like barely a sliver and above it, a bright planet shone brilliantly. It was stunningly beautiful, and my heart spoke out to my Father, "Oh God, my God, how majestic is your name in all the earth. When I consider the heavens, the works of your fingers, the moon and the stars that You have made--What am I that you are mindful of me? How is it that You consider me at all? Why is it that what is important to me is important to You?" And with that, I began to consider how silly and childish we are with all the impositions we put on ourselves and others. The vieing for position. The constant working our way up the human pyramids, clawing and scratching our way to the top.
All I want is to chase my Father. To seek Him while He may be found. I want freedom from the requirements, time constraints, and expectations of men. I want out of the religious restrictions on my relationship with God. Even my own. He whom the Son sets free is FREE. Deep is calling, shouting out to deep. The deep in me is crying out, "I need more of You, Lord!" And I know that the deep in Him is whispering to me, "I want more of You, my beloved!"
I want to put away childishness and become completely childlike...with the pure heart of a child whose Father takes by the hand and leads into His glorious presence.
"I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
'Cause it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus."