About Karen

"A person's name is the greatest connection to their own identity and individuality. It is the most important word in the world to that person. It is the one way we can easily get someone's attention. When someone remembers our name after meeting us, we feel respected and more important.”

I was thinking just this morning about a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. Her name is Karen. 

She’s one of the most amazing ladies I know. She was the director of a Ronald McDonald House. She often used her home for fundraising for different non profits. Every time there was an event at our church, she was there working very hard behind the scenes to make sure it went on without a hitch.

She and her firefighter husband adopted three children from foster care. I wonder how it makes her feel to know her name has become synonymous with the exact opposite of the kind of person she is.

I have a friend from high school whose name is Karen. She lives in the same area as my 90 year old mom. When Covid19 hit and we couldn’t go out to see my mom, Karen made sure she had what she needed and even brought her toilet paper when she ran out. I’m sure she took it from her own short supply. She has continued to offer to help my mom in any way needed. 

In fact, after a recent storm, my mom’s whole community lost power. It was off from Tuesday through Friday. The only person to contact me and ask if my mom needed anything was Karen. She brought her food and made sure she was okay until we could get to her and bring her to our house. Karen is like our family’s personal angel! 

I recently met another woman named Karen who is really struggling with her own name these days. She too is an amazing woman. She came from extreme poverty and worked very hard to get where she is today with a nice home, well-paid job, and beautiful family.

Now she hesitates when new people ask her name. She says it feels, “really shitty” that her own name is used in such a derogatory manner, and because she seen as white, middle class, she “fits the profile,” and is a walking stereotype to those who don’t know her story.

From the first time I heard the name Karen being used as now is, I thought it was racist. If our culture used any other name the way Karen is being used to negatively represent women of a particular ethnicity, the group targeted would be incensed and angry about it. But instead, the whole culture, across all lines have embraced this. Why??

I don’t know about anyone else, but I believe it’s offensive, and needs to stop. Stop saying it. Stop promoting it. Stop posting it.

And for anyone thinking I’m wrong, I want you to spend one minute imagining your name being used the way “Karen” is these days. One real minute. Versus all day, every day!